Saturday, 31 December 2011

New year

Well its 2012. I should make a crack about flying cars and Tomorrows World but its been done.

I have had quite a lot of sloe gin, not that much food and am far far to sober.

I did see so bats fly over the house when i was watching fireworks over the houses,so hopfully its a good omen for next year

Wednesday, 28 December 2011

Test

Test post from phone

targets 2012

  • try to post here at least once a week
  • spin at least once a week
  • don't buy any more fiber until you have used some
  • carry one with the Beekeepers quilt
  • knit more socks
  • keep selling widgets
  • Allotmenting!
  • keep practicing with the sewing machine

last years resolutions

  • Knit at least one pair of socks - actually managed 7
  • Learn how to knit a cable - still can't figure it out , always ends up wierd and lumpy
  • Learn mosaic knitting with an eye to trying fair isle - did a small piece
  • Get more stuff listed and sold on folksy - Valentines heart, easter? - Done
  • Clear down at by at least one bookcase- Done, managed 2, then refilled them!
  • Try and take 1 photo a week - no, completly forgot
  • Get in to the habit of keeping a symptom diary (here would be handy) - kinda
  • carry on with God pot - done will tot it up at the weekend
  • learn to use a sewing machine and start selling - still wonky
  • Do at least one craft fair - nope
did 4 and 2 halfs, out of 10 which wasn't bad.

I did do a lot of spinning though, and got a couple of beautiful Enid Ashcroft Spindles for Christmas. Uni is going slowly, I can mostly do essays with time and encouragement, but exams are not going to be easy.

Wednesday, 9 November 2011

Amazing yarn art

Just stumbled across Alba Ranch - Amazing yarns, I am so going to blowing my yarn budget here soon.

She's currently holding a giveaway - so go look!

Saturday, 15 October 2011

new post ... at last

back at uni, not made many lectures, but the reading is easy enough. Next term there are a lot of exams tho

Allotment is looking green, and not to much of it is weeds, We are trying to decided the fate of half a dozen fruit bushes we inherited, I'd like to keep the gooseberry, but i think most of the currants will go.

 been a busy bee and knitting hexi-puffs for my quilt, got 70ish so far, which is about a fifth


any yarnies should have look here for a fab fiber giveaway

Monday, 29 August 2011

Roast Mutton

My veg box has  just started selling mutton so we had roast mutton last week! My butcher can't get it  and there's not a handy halal butchers. The leg is a bit pricy for my wallet, but the shoulder isn't any more than a shoulder of lamb. Slow roasted it for about 6hours with some home made elderberry wine and yellow heritage carrots and it was amazingly tender and so much more flavour than lamb.

I think I'll grab a couple of packs of diced to freeze for slow cooking when i finally remember to get a  new cable!

Knitting has been slow, managed half a sock - fab yarn though lime green, pinky purple and black knitting up in sort of stripes. hopefully I can get both to nominally match.

Have hardly been to the allotment the last couple of weeks due to the rain - thankfully other than weeding theres not a lot needs doing

Monday, 1 August 2011

back problems and beans

Pulled something in my back, walking like a 90 year old - the dicfen isn't touching it some am mainlineing 'brufen.

the allotment has been cleared to nearly ground level. So far i've amnaged to plant brassicar-y things cabbage, kale sprouts and broccoli i think. Optimistically planted some beans and some fast beetroot and khol-rabi. we should have some salad leaves if nothing else out of it this year.

Thursday, 14 July 2011

Allotment

We have one!
It's massively overgrown and full of brambles, but the site manager will get it cleared for us. It has some blackcurrant bushs and a small apple tree in, as well as a frame that can be netted to keep the birds out.
Hopefully we should be digging in in a fortnight. I've ordered some speedy seeds, and some autumn/winter veg to go in.

The spinning is going really well, I've just ordered a Turkish spindle to try out, as you can never have enough spindles! Tommorrow I'm going to start on "Mother" by MHE. I've also jury-rigged a large niddy-noddy out of pipe, hopefully it should hold up ok.

Tuesday, 5 July 2011

allotment and yarn

we might have an allotment very soon - Fox is second on the list! Apparently they have sent out some letters about non-payment, they have till the end of the month or it gets taken away. It works out at about £70 a year for 5 rods (about 25ms  x 5m) which is easily doable. We will probably need to get a lock box and some tools, but that shouldn't be too expensive.

the spinning is going really well. I've nearly finished Celery, and can now keep it even and pretty thin. I've started a pair of sock mittens as i have a sandwich bag full of odd sock yarn and, to be honest, no motivation to start a sock blanket.

2 new bookstoday - The new Charlie Stross arrived -  Rule 34 - " "If it exists, there is porn of it. No exceptions" full review later in the week,  and The Occult Roots of Nazism which isn't as weird as it sounds, I realised i didn't have any books on the Thule Society and wotnot so its one to add the grow collection of eclectic Uni books.

Sunday, 3 July 2011

TdF day 3

still on 'Celery', about halfway though the roving. next is either the milk fibre - just to try or the lovely flamey coloured MHE fleece. I might save the milk for the mountain trail...

Hopefully my niddy-noddy should turn up soon, so I can try and measure how much I've done. I think I'm somewhere around the 60m mark. Im not a prolific spinner, but I can definatly see improvement.

P has done some amazing B&W photos, I'm going to tkae some to Tenbury I think and try and sell them for him. I might set up a Folky shop for him to sell them though as he's really into it and really photos are so much nicer than digital ones.

Saturday, 2 July 2011

tour de fleece

day one and two. started on "Celery" from My Heart Exposed it's a lumpy, but a mostly even dk and the colour is fab, a lovely vegatable-y yellow-green - i'll try to get a couple of photos tommorrow in the daylight.

A is trying to dump the dog on me for 10days, even though she's had nearly 2months to sort something out, and i wasn't even meant to be home that week!

Wednesday, 29 June 2011

phewww

done with knitting cakes and veg now! still have a beetroot and some strawberrys to finish off.

Mum's got most of it, Dad took it up to Dodo's to save me carrying it on the train. I probaly need to make some more fruit, but i can't find a good banana pattern so I might not bother. Lots of earring, slide and rings done. Need to sew pin brooches to the flowers, but I can do that over the next few evening. Theres a few bits and bobs listed on folksy that i'll take, i can vacation mode my shop for a week.



Dodo's surprise party was fun, I got given Pimms making duty, which was easy and highly complimented. A and L's cakes were brill. A did a 2 layer cake covered in hand made sugar flowers and L did a little bowling ball (lots of black icing!)

feeling a lot better now the weather has broken, too much heat is not good. Still no word on Creative Response, but have got a referal to the local support group.

started a new pair of straped sock for mum. i quite like knitting the first sock, but the second seems to take forever...

Sunday, 5 June 2011

rain at last

I have spent the last few days on the sofa complaining about the heat, and its only june. this does not bode well for the rest of the summer.

I seem to have lost all motivation for anything, knity veg is at a stand still, i have a few strawberrys to finish that i just can't bear to look at.  and I really should do 2 or 3 more doughnuts and cupcakes.

the quetapine didn't work, so going back to the risperidone, seeing nurse on weds if she doesn't cancel again.

Thursday, 12 May 2011

Dear Sainsburys

just a quiet word about your maths skills - 2 own brand breaded Camembert with raspberry sauce cost £2,
2 taste the difference breaded Camembert - the same size as the previous - with redcurrent jelly cost £3.15.
I can purchase a large jar of redcurrent jelly for 82p, so why would you think i'll pay £1.15 for a tiny pot?

Saturday, 7 May 2011

Knitting

I have knitted a vast number of fruit and veg. I think I still need another 10 or so pieces.
then some cakes
then sandwiches and snacks
then a couple of teacosys...
got till the beginning of July tho


The mead seems to have stopped fermenting - I might move it down into the corner to clear, the banana is still going(!) the pear doesn't want to clear and I might start rosehip tomorrow if I have enough dried hips left. The saltan wine cleared and is bottled, I still have one bottle of damson left, a couple of apple and a couple of peach.

Thursday, 5 May 2011

tired

Jensen-dog snores and makes random smells! got a bag of cheese and some random flavour rock out the bargin tho...

Thursday, 28 April 2011

This week is nearly over, so next week will be better. The pills are just making me sleep, im not as zombie as i was mon/tues but haven't noticed any effect on the anxiety. 

Mum might have found a shop in Tenbury that will take my knitting and felt pictures @20% which about what I'd get selling on folksy and having to post stuff. Can't remember what the shops called, but she's commisioned a basket of knitted fruit and veg for a Home Front display she's holding in July.

Tuesday, 26 April 2011

I won ...

A competition! Back here I mentioned "My Heart Exposed " - Well the lovely ladies who run the store where holding a competition to celebrate their first birthday and I won second prize - a lovely merino top called “Fire Without Smoke” in amazing yellows and pinks,  a chocolate bar soap and a £5 gift voucher to spend at MHE - I really need to get on with some hand spinning.

In other news I've started different meds, and have slept about 35 hours out of the last 48!

Sunday, 17 April 2011

went to casualty on thursday. wasn't safe to be left. not a lot of help, didn't admit me, which i wanted. but did get emergency appt. for tommorrow with head nutterologist.

Thursday, 14 April 2011

Lake House 3


It is with increasing frustration that I am writing to you again concerning my partner, Miss Kate Heffer, who is being treated for her ongoing mental health difficulties by the team at Lake House.
According to Kate’s care plan, agreed as of 12th November 2010, Kate is to receive direct funding from the CMHT to enable her to attend the Creative Response programme identified by the art therapists Kate saw in August 2010.
As you may be aware, Kate’s condition worsened significantly during the first part of this year, and, as a result, she was unable to set up a new bank account into which this payment could be made. I asked Helen Jahans, on Kate’s behalf, whether an alternative means of funding the Creative Response programme could be arranged, but this was apparently impossible. This has led to a delay in Kate beginning this programme.
Fortunately Kate’s condition improved slightly during the early part of March, and she was able to set up the new account as requested. She accordingly telephoned Helen on March 17th and left a message with her new bank details, giving the sort code, account number and roll number. She also asked that Helen call her or myself if she needed any further details.
As we did not hear back from Helen over the following weeks, I telephoned her on Thursday 7th April to see if there had been any progress. Helen was out, and her voicemail apparently full, so I left a message with the receptionist, again asking Helen to call myself or Kate.
This morning I received a rather terse letter from Helen further to my phone call informing me that Helen had still not received the details she needed to set up the direct payments for Creative Response. I was nonplussed, to say the least. When I got through (on the third attempt) to Helen on the phone she told me that she had only received the roll number for Kate’s new account, and was unable to proceed without the sort code and account number.
As far as I was aware, Kate had already given her this information in her phone call of March 17th. It is perfectly possible, if unlikely, that, owing to her condition, Kate is mistaken in thinking that she had done so, but she clearly had at least attempted to contact Helen with her bank details. Why then did Helen not notify Kate or myself that she still needed this information? Helen is well aware that Kate has significant communication difficulties, and of the need to include me in any communications. Both these facts are recorded in Kate’s care plan.


It is now April, and Kate has still not received this funding. This is, in part due to the fact that Kate was too unwell to organise the creation of a new bank account into which funding could be paid. We asked Helen Jahans, Kate’s CPN if an alternative means of funding this course could be arranged, but this was apparently impossible.

Lake House 2

Re: your letters of 23rd February and 11th March
It is with increasing dissatisfaction that I write again regarding the treatment of partner, Miss Kate Heffer.
Turning first to the letter dated 23/02/2010, you write that “we need to agree a way forward that will enable us to provide the help and support Kate needs” and go on to list four suggestions. Unfortunately, neither Kate nor myself have any confidence that you are able to provide any help or support. On current showing, your intervention in Kate’s care after the referral by Doctor Krohl has been almost wholly counter-productive.
Kate does not feel that she gains any benefit from seeing the CPN. She finds the process difficult and distressing, and I feel that I must concur with her assessment. A visit to the CPN does nothing to help Kate and I develop a better understanding of her condition, nor does it provide her with any relief from her symptoms. The stress involved in these appointments only serves to worsen her condition in the short term and risks precipitating the crisis we all (presumably) hope to avoid. Kate had, I thought, made this clear to the psychiatrist we saw recently. We certainly left that appointment with the impression that the psychiatrist also believed that any further CPN appointments would be unnecessary and potentially harmful. We were also left under the impression that a new care co-ordinator would be assigned, given the complete breakdown in trust between Mr Sawmy and ourselves. You will therefore understand our disappointment at receiving Mr Sawmy’s letter of 11/03/10 offering Kate a further appointment with him at Lake House. 

Let me reiterate: further CPN appointments – whether at Lake House or anywhere else – will do Kate more harm than good. It should not need adding that these unnecessary and distressing appointments only erode Kate’s faith in the services you offer and make it that much harder for me to persuade her to attend those appointments that might actually help.

At her recent psychiatrist’s appointment, Kate agreed to see a psychotherapist for a further assessment and to explore drug-free options regarding the treatment and management of her condition. I find it odd that, given the urgency you apparently feel regarding Kate’s condition, no appointment has yet been forthcoming. 
On a happier note, I would like to extend our thanks and appreciation to the psychiatrist who saw Kate on that day. I regret that I have forgotten her name (it may have been Dr Gopaul?), but do recall her patience and understanding.

Returning to your letter of 23/02/10 and the need to agree a way forward, I would like to offer the following counter-suggestions:
1) Kate is not to have any further CPN appointments. Whilst I understand your professional desire to make periodic face-to-face contact to ensure Kate’s safety, such visits are not appropriate, welcome or useful in Kate’s case, as we have made clear over and over again. 

2) Kate will be assigned a new care co-ordinator as soon as possible, who will make themselves known to Kate in writing. Kate’s new care co-ordinator will not attempt to contact Kate by telephone – as you really should have been aware, Kate is usually unable to use a telephone.

3) I will continue to monitor Kate’s mental health closely, and will inform her care co-ordinator if her symptoms escalate.

4) Kate will attend an appointment with a psychotherapist (as agreed at her psychiatrist’s appointment) and Kate and I will liaise with her new care co-ordinator regarding any recommendations that arise from the psychotherapist’s assessment.

Finally, both Kate and I expect a genuine apology for the mishandling of her care to date. Apologising for the distress caused by the unwarranted home visit and the unnecessary referral to a social worker is disingenuous. We expect an apology for the actions themselves. Kate missed her appointment in January due to the bad weather (Lake House closed early that day, so Kate’s appointment would likely have been cancelled anyway), and we had re-booked another appointment long before “the team” decided to escalate the situation, as Mr Sawmy was well aware at the time. If the CMHT cannot admit its mistakes, we cannot have any confidence in its ability to meet Kate’s needs.  
 I am saddened that I must once again write regarding this matter,

(Never recieved a reply to this letter)

Lake House 1


We are writing with regard to the recent treatment of my partner, Miss Kate Heffer, at Lake House. Kate has been suffering with depression and psychotic episodes for approximately three years. Because her major presenting symptoms include severe bouts of anxiety and feelings of paranoia and persecution, it has obviously been very difficult to persuade Kate to seek treatment for her ongoing condition.

Kate has been under the care of Lake House unsuccessfully in the past, and was understandably reluctant to accept her GP’s referral to your service in December of last year. However, Kate recognised that she needed help and agreed to give the staff at Lake House the benefit of the doubt and attend a meeting with the psychiatric nurse as a preliminary to further investigations and/or treatment.

As Kate finds it very difficult to communicate, I had to speak on her behalf for much of this first interview, which was conducted by Mr Vijay Sawmy. During this first interview I took considerable pains to impress upon Mr Sawmy the following facts:

  • Kate has definite “trigger events” which bring on bouts of deeper than usual depression, along with feelings of intense anxiety and an increase in the intensity and duration of the hallucinations she suffers from
  • One of the main trigger events for Kate is interaction with medical professionals – Kate shares with many people an anxiety about doctors and hospitals, but during her illness this has increased to a remarkable degree and has hindered our prior attempts at successfully finding a treatment for her condition.
  • Another major trigger event is the unexpected arrival of people at our flat, especially strangers.

Given these triggers, I stressed to Mr Sawmy that Kate would most definitely not benefit from home visits by the community psychiatric nurse. Kate herself pointed out that she had been seen at home by Michelle Hyder in the past and that this had been counterproductive.  We both made efforts to stress that, in Kate’s case, home visits would not be appropriate.  

All this brings me to the events of Thursday 28th of January.

Early that morning I received a telephone call from Mr Sawmy expressing his concern that Kate had missed an appointment on January 7th with Doctor Gopaul, and asking if it would be possible to visit Kate at home later that day. I reassured Mr Sawmy that Kate had missed this appointment due to the bad weather (Lake house's Voice mail stated all appointments were cancelled due to snow) at the time, that we had since booked a new appointment, and that this was not a cause for concern. I also informed him that, because I had taken some additional time off work to look after Kate, she was somewhat more stable than of late, despite a nasty chest infection. A home visit, therefore, was not necessary, nor, in light of the trigger events outlined above, would it be at all helpful.

Mr Sawmy seemed satisfied with this.

However, he telephoned again later that morning, again asking if it was possible to visit Kate at home. In this instance I passed the telephone to Kate in the hope that she would be able to reassure him that this was unnecessary and unwanted. Unfortunately, as often happens, Kate became distressed and unable to speak clearly. She passed the phone back to me and I once again spoke with Mr Sawmy and informed him that he should not come to the house that day. It was suggested that I bring Kate to Lake House but she declined.

About an hour later, Mr Sawmy arrived at our home with another nurse in tow.

Both Kate and myself regard this as a serious breach of trust. Mr Sawmy had been told repeatedly that a home visit – especially an unannounced home visit (not to say one that we had specifically and repeatedly declined) would do Kate more harm than good. Why Mr Sawmy and his colleague decided to disregard our clearly stated wishes in this matter is simply beyond us, and Kate has found the experience profoundly unsettling. Surely the CMHT cannot regard this behaviour as appropriate?

In the event, Kate of course refused to speak with Mr Sawmy. Indeed, she was terrified, and could not come out of our bedroom until she was certain that he had gone.

Once Mr Sawmy had gone and Kate and I had both calmed down, I telephoned Lake House to complain about the incident. I was told that the relevant manager was away on leave that day, but was assured by the admin team member I spoke with that this manager would return my call the following day before I left for work at 11:40.

No such luck. I had to leave for work on the Friday deeply concerned that Mr Sawmy or another CPN would visit in my absence and trigger a more serious incident.

That evening, at around 7pm, Kate received a telephone call from John Holder, a social worker. Kate was able to quickly reassure him that she was safe and well, but is obviously upset that he was involved at all, and is concerned that her case is being escalated unnecessarily.

All in all, this sequence of events almost seems precisely calculated to cause Kate the maximum amount of distress, and, I regret to say, makes it far harder for me to encourage her to seek further treatment.

A letter from Mr Sawmy arrived the following day, offering Kate an appointment on either the 2nd or 3rd of February. Kate does not wish to attend, and will not attend any further appointments at Lake House until after she has seen Dr Gopaul on the 10th. In his letter to Kate, Mr Sawmy notes that “Mr Mortimer [...] is not happy that we visited yesterday.”

Mr Mortimer is in fact bloody furious. He is furious that his advice was ignored. He is furious that Kate’s stated wishes were ignored. He is furious that the return phone call he was promised to discuss the matter did not materialise. He is furious that this sorry incident has eroded what little trust Kate has in the CMHT’s ability to help her.

Creative Reponse - at last

10 months after the OH / Therapist recommended it for im , good knows how many phone calls, canncelled appointment (by Lake House not me) I might finally get treatment.

It's not like I'm in danger for harm or anyything. Oh wait, yes i am.

Saturday, 9 April 2011

On an Up Swing

I hope...

Went back to wrok this week, Fox came with to talk to Bosslady, who I think was just relieved I was back and hadn't handed in my notice. Even managed to do a couple of hours overtime, which should give me a few brownie points.

Went to the little fair in the High Street, not much to write home about but I did get a big bag of cheap fudge tablet from the Gnome man - He's a lovely man who comes in the shop a couple of evenings a week and is always so cheerful , he really brightens up your evening - he also offered to bring some into work for me if I wanted, which was sweet of him.

Picked up some bird seed, some knitting bits and some socks for Fox and bunped in to DD and had a coffee in the port place - nice in there, if a bit small.

Thursday, 31 March 2011

Target updates

  • Knit at least one pair of socks - check done 4
  • Learn how to knit a cable
  • Learn mosaic knitting with an eye to trying fair isle
  • Get more stuff listed and sold on folksy - Valentinesdone, earrings done, yarn up  - no easters
  • Clear down at by at least one bookcase- mostly done - still need to charity shop them
  • Try and take 1 photo a week - fail
  • Get in to the habit of keeping a symptom diary (here would be handy) - sorta
  • carry on with God pot - done
  • learn to use a sewing machine and start selling
  • Do at least one craft fair not yet

Another bad week

getting harder and harder to leave the house - spent most of yesterday in my corner, not doing anything just sitting and crying. really need to chase Lake House.


getting really clumsy as well, flickers not too bad, smells much more frequent.

Wednesday, 30 March 2011

Brewing

got the mead going - several jars of cheap honey and a couple of eucalyptus, and its gently fermenting under the table.

The raisin on cleared beautifully with help from the finings, must get round to bottling that up. It tastes a little like sherry. Half the strawberry has been drunk already! P tried it on Jk and she liked it, always good to get some feedback.

The Banana has just about stopped - I'll probably add a stoppit at the weekend and bottle it in the week - really looking forward to it.

The pear is still very cloudy, but seems to be gently settling.

I've got 2 glass demijohns spare now so i think it'll be ribena and cirtus wines next.

Tuesday, 29 March 2011

sitting in the dark

Once the sun passes round passed the front windows, it gets really gloomy in here.

Monday, 28 March 2011

lovely line from N's littl'un

Me: Bye-bye trouble
L: I'm not trouble, I'm L!

Sunday, 27 March 2011

Cooking Chilli for 6

and vegetarian at that, as well as kidney bean free! Not a packet for revolting meat subsitutes in sight -  just beans, different beans, beans in sauce and lentils. I'll let you know who it turns out.

In other news I have had a productive weekend - shoppings done, mead's started, gave my statement about a minor shopliftting hoha  dyed some cotton/tecel sock yarn hot pink.

Just need to boil the ham for soup and start tidying up. and shake the nagging feeling that I've forgotten something....

Saturday, 26 March 2011

Finally an Update!

This time it's knitting - A very lovely Lady on Ravelry and her talented Daughter run a fabulous shop on Folksy - My Heart Exposed Yarns - I look at it often as I am deperate to learn to spin, but with my flat that didn't look likely - however I have just got on the Creative Response scheme and they do texiles - so cross your fingers that someone can teach me to spin.

I think I might have to grab a couple on speck - just in case, I can alway use them for needle felting and you can never have enough fibre.

Edit - I got one! lovely pink , just got to wait for it to wing its way here.

Thursday, 3 February 2011

Lake House

emergency appointment at lake house today, burst into tears at work yesterday adn went home. cant decide if i should quit or not

Sunday, 23 January 2011

there is now no chance of the Singularity

the pinacale of human stupidity was achieved by a country wide presenter, who when watching a swirling, wheeling flock of starlings at sunset described it as "like watching it in 3D"

birthday 'n stuff

bd not to bad, went into winds with f. managed a couple of hours. dad actually listen to my list this year, whihch was nice. 16th on the allotment list now, might get on efor next year.

just cant shake to feeling in having a very slow relapse

Friday, 14 January 2011

bluegh

absolute saga trying to get a doctors appointment on monday - reduced me to tears and f had to come home early. tuesday was nearly as bad - 3 hours wait for a call back! pointless, waste-of-time system - just means the receptionist can take personal calls rather than doing their job! when i finally did see drm every thing was sorted - then took ten minutes for the receptionist to stop gossiping and help me make a followup appointment. (too many !'s)

CPN cancelled, so me and b when empty building hunting - got some nice pics and saw muttly.

Friday, 7 January 2011

signed off for a couple of weeks, It like it was with tosh, everything just seems to big and hard. I do want to go back, I'm just not sure I can.
Seeing nurse on Thursday 13 so might be helpful, but I doubt it very much! gave me the appointment 8weeks ago and then changed it this morning - just as well F took the day off. Hopefully get some more news on Arts

symptoms: agoraphobia, shakes, paranoia, extreme hunger,

Sunday, 2 January 2011

bad few weeks, mostly functioning, but its alway bad at xmas. what with christmas, norfolk, work and everything im not doing badly, but i can feel myself sliding

Saturday, 1 January 2011

the obligitary 2010 post

well I got a job- only part time and it exhusts me but its a step forward, did 6/8 modules of my first year (last 2 start in 3weeks) getting A's and B's. I might not be better but I am more functional.  On the housing list, got a online shop running and selling.